See you next year

Anathema are in the studio putting the finishing touches to their new album which will be released in March of 2010. It looks like we won't be on the road (or in the air) again until then, so unless something turns up in the meantime I'll speak to you in the spring. Happy hibernation.

Beirut

It seems like we're back home before we've even set off, having flown out Friday afternoon and then back again only a couple of hours or so after the gig. I was in my local pub by one o'clock on Sunday afternoon enjoying a pint of John Smith's. There were a few foreheads on carpets on the plane to Lebanon - it must have been a designated prayer time or something, which makes me wonder if it's a time-zone specific activity or there's a global consensus as to when five o'clock is. If the former is true it must be tricky doing it on a plane, what with having to figure out where east is as well. What if the plane banks mid-invocation? Or you're suddenly one hour further forward than you were when you started praying? I'm sure they take all of that into consideration, and anyway it was of no concern to us - a fan among the cabin crew ensured we had a plentiful supply of beer and vodka, of which Mick took advantage to the fullest, his impassioned discourse on the merits or lack thereof of well-known actor Tom Cruise polarising opinion among nearby passengers.

After ages waiting for passports to be stamped on arrival we found one guitar had gone missing (still at Heathrow when we got back), which was a bit worrying as we hadn't brought a spare. Finnish support "To Die For" came good in the end by lending Danny a very nice Tokai Les Paul for the show - thanks fellas. There then followed a white-knuckle ride to the hotel where we met our Lebanese promoter, a Christian gentleman named, surprisingly, Jihad. It turns out he'd converted to Christianity after being raised in the Islamic faith but subsequently found himself more than a little disappointed by the actions of local extremists. I'd best not go any further into that, though I know what I would have done in his situation.

Jihad kindly took us to Abdel Wahab's pie and mash shop after we'd dropped our stuff at the hotel. I'm prepared to believe him that it's the best cuisine to be had in Beirut. In fact it was some of the finest food I've ever tasted, and I now know finally what hummus is supposed to taste like. What I wouldn't give for a doggy bag right now - some of that perfectly marinated lamb and the spinach with the crispy bits on top, or maybe the stuffed vine leaves and the other stuff with the crispy bits on top, or that sliced sausage.... delicious. The only down side (apart from the whole tiny birds which Vincent gamely tried) was that they brought us far more than we could possibly have eaten. I do hope it wasn't thrown away.

I have to say at this point that of all the countries I've visited Lebanon has the worst driving standards. There really doesn't seem to be any rules, at least not that I could make out, be they speed limits, road markings, giving way to other road users or indeed any form of common courtesy. I saw the odd traffic light but I couldn't figure out what their purpose was within a Lebanese context. Every journey was a pants-shitting experience, particularly the one after the concert when we narrowly escaped being attacked by an unruly mob, our driver thankfully speeding away before they could get their hands on us.

Before soundcheck Vincent was whisked away for an interview on Lebanese TV, and again had to field questions regarding satanic worship and suicide connected to the band's music. Yep, that old chestnut. It seems a local Catholic school had circulated a letter the previous day warning young people not to go to the gig as satanism would be practiced there, along with much taking of drugs and the spreading of the gothic "culture of death". The no cameras rule was a dead giveaway to them - let's keep it nice and secret eh? I'm willing to bet these idiots have never heard a single Anathema track in their ignorant, narrow-minded lives. Honestly, the sooner these superstitious morons fuck off and let the intelligent and open-minded young people, of whom they're so obviously terrified, have a crack at running things the better it'll be for everyone. Why can't people just mind their own damn business? Here's an opinion from someone closer to the action:

http://tony.codealife.com/blog-1/index.php/2009/11/cultural_segregation/

Anyway, there was a very enthusiastic and non satan-worshipping crowd at the (very big) Forum de Beyrouth, half Syrian judging by the cheer that went up. As luck would have it the set for the Lebanese TV show "1 vs 100" was under construction next door so a couple of bits of wood for pedal boards weren't too hard to come by. The local crew were all hugely helpful, the backline technician being a big Anathema fan so his day was made. Guitar tech George also deserves a special mention. It all went very smoothly and the crowd went nuts - it's always a pleasure to work a show where there's an appreciative and passionate audience. At about two in the morning we headed back to the hotel for approximately one hours sleep before the previously mentioned journey home to the pub. During the show Vincent expressed a wish to return to Lebanon in 2010, and to maybe take in Syria and Jordan whilst we're in the neighbourhood. That should ruffle a few feathers. We'll see what happens.

Hellfire Festival..

...attached to a music trade show at the annoyingly large Birmingham NEC, bloody miles away from the train station. When I got there it took a fair while to find someone who could give me a pass, but luckily I was just in time to witness the joys of Kiss covers band "Dressed To Kill". If one is going to form a tribute act, surely there's better acts to ape than Kiss for pity's sake? Maybe it's the dressing up that appeals. While we're on the subject, I want to get OC/DC together if anyone's interested - we'll take ages to set up our gear, making sure it's just right, then play the same riff over and over for the whole set. Anyway, after deciding I would ignore fake Paul Stanley's advice to catch them in Swindon in a couple of weeks I went for a wander around "Music Live" in the hall next door, an event which magically brought back all the horrors of seven years working in a guitar shop, then multiplied them by fifty. The place was full of men playing bad guitar solos. I hate guitar solos. Actually that's not strictly true - I hate the vast majority of guitar solos, but particularly those without accompaniment played by punters in music shops. Honestly, just play a chord - you'll know if you like it or not.

The show went well anyway, despite the ludicrous fifteen minute changeover time (nice of them to admit it was their amp that was faulty when the show was over). Warm Carlsberg (441) backstage this time, and no catering I might add. Shoddy.

Flying to Lebanon on Friday. That should be interesting.

Leeds Damnation Festival

A short trip from Anathema HQ to the near-impossible to find students union of Leeds university for a load more metal. The set up was pretty good though the beer provided in the dressing room was un-refridgerated Carling - drink number 473 (of 474) on my list of preferred post-show beverages. Electric Wizard, on before us, where the loudest noise of any kind I've ever heard, making preparations for our slot a bit of a headache, though the pedal boards I made on the last tour finally proved their worth in a festival setting. The show went very well despite Vincent utterly destroying his guitar cable during a mid-song stamp. Later I enjoyed Nicholas Barker's band Lock Up who generously shared their stage with those wishing to dive off it, the largest and most menacing of their number looking more like a sweaty man gingerly belly flopping into a child's paddling pool than whatever it was he imagined himself to be. Another ignored etiquette altogether, randomly flinging himself onto an unsuspecting female audience member, almost knocking her out in the process. Idiot.

Hellfire festival in Birmingham next.

Doesn't seem like there's much happening until the Leeds Damnation festival on October 24th. Until then, here's some photos:

Derelict station in Osnabruck

Fonofest Latvia

Brits abroad at Fonofest

A Latvian beer engine

Padlocks on a bridge in Riga

Monument in Riga

John and Vincent in Riga

Riga

Matt and our guide in Buenos Aires

Santiago

Santiago sculpture park

Halfords Santiago branch

Monument in Buenos Aires

The Andes shortly before our landing in Chile

Helsinki

Leaving Stockholm for Helsinki

Returning to Stockholm from Turku

Three things I learned on this tour:

1. Flies can survive an awful long time in a microwave. I discovered this when heating milk for a poor man's cappuccino one hung-over morning. I didn't realise there'd been one in there until I opened the door and it flew out, continuing about its business seemingly un-nuked.

2. Having spent much time in the company of our esteemed drivers, I now know that the 1970s English sitcom "On The Buses" was in fact a documentary.

3. Matt, our front-of-house sound man, has the worst musical taste of any human being in history.

Nijmegan

It's jolly nice to have spent the last few days in The Netherlands, the one country which I could quite easily consider moving to when I finally get sick of the UK, which when I think about it, is about five years ago. The venues and staff here have been excellent, though the manager of the Patronaat in Haarlem appears to have taken a course in advanced moaning as part of her vocational training. Yesterday I managed to pick up a bumper supply of Chocomel which, for those of you who have yet to try it, is the world's finest chocolate milk. This will fill my fridge when I return home, and I won't mind throwing out all the salad stuff to make room for it. I reckon ten litres should last me a couple of days or so. Got myself a nice little ante-room for guitar world today. It's nice to be tucked away out of sight sometimes.

Potsdam

By practicing the ancient art known as "dowsing for wifi" - basically wandering around with your laptop open - I have found one of the best hotspots so far - down by a river near an arts and museum complex, bathed in yet more September sunshine. It'll be good to get back to work later after two days off - too much leisure time on tour can be a bad thing. Work focuses the mind. The ferry back from Finland tested limits of sanity and self control. There's only so much geriatric Finnish karaoke one can listen to before considering violence. Happily, I managed to rid myself of all my Danish Krone on the crossing to Germany, blowing them all on a fish fillet dinner which was pretty tasty. Unlike other fellow travellers, I eschewed the wonders of the Reeperbahn in Hamburg last night, opting for a quiet night in with a film instead. Going to find some breakfast now.

Tampere

A hot and sticky gig in a smashing little venue which epitomised Finland for me - clean elegant surroundings, helpful friendly people and damn good food. It was so hot during the concert that during the intermission, in an effort to compose himself, Vincent lay flat on his back in the backstage area. Upon arising he left an imprint in perspiration that I can only describe in the following terms: Imagine Han Solo encased in carbonite, had The Empire Strikes Back been filmed as a gay porn movie....

Oulu

Pretty close to the Arctic circle here and it's still tee-shirt weather. A coke and a reindeer sandwich were fuel for today's load-in at a huge out-of-town venue that was once a sausage factory. Unlike the converted church in Gothenburg I'm not so sure that in this case it's a better use for a building, sausages being, in my opinion, one of mankind's greatest achievements. Another of those achievements is the automatic washing machine, an example of which I found tucked away in a small room in a far corner of the building, currently cleaning more than a week's worth of manky tour-togs. Bliss.

Finland

Sat in the sunshine on the waterfront in Helsinki after an utterly bizarre ferry crossing from Stockholm where we'd been parked for what seemed like an aeon, at least. One cannot begin to describe the forms of musical entertainment provided by Viking Line on the SS Gabriella, presumably tailored to ease our eighteen-hour passage across the Baltic, so I won't bother. Vincent summed it up perfectly though with the question, "have we taken drugs without realising it?" Both John and Les raised the karaoke bar by several notches with fine renditions of Elvis Presley and Tom Jones numbers respectively, leaving subsequent hapless performers to appear hackneyed and amateurish by comparison. The photograph shows Les sporting correct head and eye-wear as recommended for such a voyage.

Made some pedalboards today....

One for Danny:

...one for Vincent:

...and one for Jay:

Courtesy of our helpful stand-in driver...

Gothenberg

After last night's nightmare with Vincent's pedals I'm pleased to report that (so far) tonight's gig is passing without major incident, taking place in a venue occupying a building that was previously a church - how nice to see it being used for a more worthwhile purpose. Several fellow travellers reported a fitful rest in their bunks during this morning's journey from Oslo to Gothenburg. I myself dreamed I'd designed a stage set for the band which incorporated a water feature with floating chess pieces, positioned just behind the lead singer. Fuck knows what that means. New arrival Tim is our stand-in driver for the next few days while John flies home for a scan on his knackered back. A day off is to be enjoyed in Stockholm tomorrow.

My glee at ridding myself of the 50 Krone in Copenhagen was to be short-lived, what with it being too late for a kebab after the show and driver John being eager to get on the road and Oslo-bound. I therefore have left Denmark with 97 of their Krone, 47 more than when I arrived. It's a buy out again tonight so knowing my luck I'll end up with a pocket full of Norwegian shitters as well, their sole purpose being to taunt me when I'm skint back home in London.

Getting into the swing of things now, having just finished setting up the stage in Copenhagen. Last night's gig in Malmo was a success, the airing of a new song ("Universal") going down particularly well. I finally managed to get rid of the 50 Danish Krone I've been carrying with me for the past ten months, a local branch of Aldi being chosen both for its proximity to the bus and its plethora of cheap snackables. Normally the cash would have gone on beer but it was early and to be honest it'd been burning a hole in my pocket for the best part of a year. It's a buy-out for dinner this evening so a visit to the local kebab shop, about which I've heard many good things, is in order.

Parked up in Bremen for the night enjoying a beer and currywurst. The ferry crossing was surprisingly smooth, unsurprisingly boozy. Nursing a hangover, Matt left his phone on board. It would be an invaluable find for one planning to make the leap from cabin cleaner to PA and sound reinforcement provider, what with all the contacts he has on there. Let's hope he gets it back. Spent much of today on the bus watching Penn and Teller's show "Bullshit", which is highly recommended, and banging my head on the skylight, which is not. It does take a couple of days to get your bearings on a new bus. I'm growing very fond of the little window in my bunk. I might see if I can find some tiny net curtains and lego window boxes when we get to Denmark, just to make it a bit more homely.

Finally on the road after couple of setbacks. We're now heading to Hull for the north sea ferry (and a pretty rough crossing by the sound of things) - the original Harwich/Denmark plan scuppered due to the bus breaking down twice before it had even picked us up. Still, that gave us ample time to make sure we had all the essentials for the tour, for example: two model helicopters and a unicycle. It also meant we were able to take delivery of one Les Paul guitar, finally reunited with its owner after an extended furlough in Tunisia. The bus is very nice indeed, having a proper downstairs pub and upper viewing deck where I sit writing this. We have little windows in the bunks as well which will make all the difference (or at least half of it).

Incidentally, it has come to my attention that an as-yet unnamed member of Anathema is writing a rival blog for the duration of this excursion. Any acts of blatant plagiarism on his part should be reported directly to me via the comments section on this page. Thank you for your cooperation

Scandinavia

So we're setting sail for northern lands, starting tomorrow with a twenty-hour ferry crossing to Denmark and then on to Sweden for the first gig on Sunday. I'm really looking forward to this. As far as I'm concerned you can keep your sweltering Mediterranean heat - I want pine forests, pickled herring and meatballs.

Here is the itinerary:

06 September malmo KB
07 September copenhagen vega
08 September oslo john dee
09 September gothenburg sticky fingers
11 September stockholm klubben
13 September helsinki nosturi
14 September oulu teatria
15 September tampere klubi
18 September potsdam waschhaus
19 September osnabruck kleine freiheit
20 September zoetermeer boerderij
21 September haarlem patronaat
22 September nijmegen doornroosje
23 September vosselaar biebob

Athens airport waiting for the connection to Heathrow - flight number thirty-three since August last year. Chania was very nice, though roasting. The gig, in an athletics stadium, was good despite a couple of minor incidents. For example, while innocently photographing the rickety stage before soundcheck I was accused of taking pictures of the monitor engineer's daughter's arse, which I can assure you was absolutely not the case, though this did not stop the promoter from hassling me all day for a copy. Later, after the show, I had to accost a punter who'd stolen a tuner pedal from the stage - he handed it back without protesting claiming he'd only taken it because I wouldn't give him a drum stick as a souvenir!?

Next stop - a tour of Scandinavia in September.

Chania

Yes, I was right. It's bloody hot.

Nothing doing...

...'til the Chania rock festival in Crete on August 8th. Blimey, it'll be hot.

After a pleasant evening's eating and drinking in the lovely city of Riga we headed off through a landscape of seemingly endless forest to the Fonofest - a bit like a heavy metal jamboree in a wooded clearing. Sadly it was pretty sparsely attended - a shame as it was organised by some very nice enthusiastic young Latvians who let us have a country house for the night. I hope it was enough of a success to warrant many more - those in attendance were having a whale of a time. Jamie very kindly toured the site offering strawberries to the punters, advertising his wares by having them smeared on his face, an approach which left many wary as to the motive behind his display of fruit-based altruism.

We arrived at the With Full Force festival near Leipzig to the sound of Motorhead playing and Les wondering loudly why we weren't pissed (he'd gone ahead as part of the advance drinking party). It was a standard German rock festival - big and well organized. Anathema played at half past one in the morning but plenty of people stayed to listen. The stage crew were pretty tetchy but that's hardly surprising as they'd been there for three days dealing with petulant musicians and road crew who'd forgotten to bring mains adaptors (for example).

Poland this weekend.

Riga

Waiting for everyone to emerge from their rooms so we can head out for some food in Riga's old town where our hotel is conveniently located. Perhaps we'll head for "Hospitalis" where diners sit in gynaecologists' chairs at an operating table while waitresses dressed as nurses spoon feed them "curious European cuisine variations." Or maybe "Gauja", a "tiny cafe that brings back memories of the Soviet way of life during the 70s." There, one can eat authentic Soviet era cuisine served on authentic plates whilst listening to cold war era Soviet music, all the while tended to by waiters wearing period clothing. Steak and chips will do for me.

The photo above (look carefully - that's a magazine she's holding) was taken on the train from London to Leeds.

Fonofest and With Full Force...

Heading off for the weekend, first to Latvia for the Fonofest, then to the "With Full Force" festival in Leipzig. If anything interesting or amusing happens I promise you'll be the first to know.